The Professor

Well I need to go back and recap some things that have happened to me since I have been here which I didn't discuss before. One of the first ones that comes to mind is my French teacher from the course I took in January.

I don't want to sound stereotypical and judgemental, but if you could picture a "dirty old French man," this guy would be it, to a T. To be honest, it was absolutely hilarious and entertaining to be in his presence for 2 hours a night.

Alias: Professor
Age: 53
Marital Status: Divorced 3 times
Car: Rides the bus
Languages: French, English, some Spanish
Stature: About 5'10", large gut covered by an orange button down shirt which he wore every single day of class, chin length white hair and a big bushy white beard, like santa. And he laughed a lot, like santa. Except santa doesn't smell like cigarettes.

In my class were 5 youngish girls and 2 guys. This was a good ratio for Professor. When we would work in our workbooks in class, he would come around and check how everyone was doing. For the girls, he would literally lean RIGHT over you and was so close you could feel him breathing on you. Then say some comment like "Oui, Oui, you are beautiful and smahrt" or one that I got was "marvellieux, marvellieux, I lave you, ho ho ho ho ho!!!" Also one night when we were riding the bus home, he told me that I was a very quick learner in French, and also, that he "ated" the bus but when riding with me it was ok, because when it stoppped he bumped into me.

He was a very good professor actually. While he told us that "Zee best vay to learn zuh langugage ees on zuh pillow," he had some very good examples of how to remember French vocabulary.

Example: "Tante" (meaning, tent as in camping, or aunt)
"Ze word 'tante,' zis can be for faire le comping or can be zuh seester of your mohzer. For me, I sometimes would preefur to be undar ze other tante zan zuh comping tante. Ho ho ho ho ho!"

Example: the verb "choisir" (meaning, to choose)
"Par example, en zuh marning, I can ask Jeckleen (note: this is how my name is pronounced here) after she stay at my ouse and kuk me zuh breakfast, if I should choisis le chemise blanche ou le chemise rouge. Ho ho ho ho ho!"

Example: the verb "batre" (meaning, to beat)
"Zere is a saying we ave, 'Batre su femme tout le matin...' do you know zees saying? 'Beat your wife every morning, if you don't know ze raison why, she will,' ho ho ho ho ho!"

All in all, despite the fact that these comments would sometimes toe the line of harassment (I think it is safe to say were this in the U.S. he would have been sued), it did help us to laugh a lot and put the class at ease, which was a relief a lot of times. And he did teach us a lot and encouraged lots of talking in class which is the best way to practice. French can be so damn frustrating with all of the stupid masculine, feminine, the articles, the pronunuciation, ahhhh catastrophe!!! I am signing up for another class next month and hope to actually see Professor again. I tried going to another one after his ended but the class was too far advanced, and the lady professor was an old battie with awful B.O.

So, would you rather be hit on by a harmless old man, or have to spend 2 hours a night sitting in the stench of an old battie? I'll take Professor any day.

And finally...his class handouts, while very helpful, reeked of marijuana. Definitely a man who appreciates higher learning!